Cullens meet Msn, Msn meet the Cullens!
by hidingthetruthbehindamask
Summary: A Twilight Fan-Fic written by A x Stupid X Lamb & Hanabella Louise! Cullens Msn? oh dear. What happens in the every day lives of the Cullen clan. What names would they pick and would would they say? R & R
1. Chapter 1

Cullens meet Msn, Msn meet the Cullens!

By A x Stupid X Lamb & BabyH(dot)Louisex

_**Chapter 1**_

_***Carlisle signs in***_

_***Esme signs in***_

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says:**

Esme

**Mamma vamp says:**

Carlisle darling, I've missed you

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says:**

Aww sorry about doing the late shift again.

**Mamma Vamp Says:**

It's okay you can make it up too me tonight

**Mamma Vamp says:**

So How was work?

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says:**

Easy tiger! I can only stay on a few minutes I'm on a break

**Mamma Vamp says: **

Aww But I miss you

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says**:

I'll be home soon. So how are the 'kids'

did you ever realise Emmett and Jasper are only about 3 years younger than me

**Mamma Vamp Says:**

Their okay, all though I came very close to killing Emmett today, Carlisle I realised that years ago you are very slow today

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says:**

* cowering behind a chair* what did he do? and I am not slow today!

**Mamma Vamp says:**

Don't go there!

he tried cooking for that stupid puppy of his and nearly set the house on fire, he's hiding from me now

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says:**

*sighs* would this puppy of his be black and white with a little blue collar saying *Rose no2"?

**Mamma Vamp says:**

That's the one, i don't think he's told Rose it's name yet, it would be a shame if she accidently found out*giggles at evil plan*

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says:**

yeah well it's outside the window right now. Right its back to the pet shop with it. Esme, I had no idea you were so... evil.

**Mamma Vamp says:**

Carlisle you've know i'm evil ever since our honeymoon oh good time good times

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says: **

Oh ha ha... pillows... bed....clothes in shreds...yeah good times

**Mamma Vamp says:**

And great sex, those we're the days

**Yes I Answer to Doctor Fang says:**

Well there still the days aren't they???

**Mamma Vamp says: **

...

**Yes I answer to doctor fang says:**

Esme?

**Mamma Vamp says:**

umm that's a hard question to answer

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang Says:**

w...what? how could you say that? I mean you love me don't you?

**Mamma Vamp says:**

of course i do it's just i don't see you that much anymore, i'm getting lonely and no sex can drive a girl insane

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says:**

Thank god for that I was panicking for a second there and err, well, work has kind of controlled my life lately. Is this getting to "can you take the afternoon off?" because you know I would do that for you

**Mamma Vamp says:**

umm that would be great, and I'm getting cold sitting here in your favourite dress

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says: **

Esme, you cant get cold. Ok then I'll tell doctor Snow I'm off. hehe cant wait to get home. Oh everyone may want to leave the house

**Mamma Vamp says:**

I'm alone already

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says:**

Oh cra... I mean shoot. Yes I know your alone. Everyone's here!. Emmett is rolling on the floor. Alice is looking petrified and Edward is trying not to laugh. Jasper is sending me love. Im getting a lock for this room!

**Mamma Vamp says:**

Oh no, I wondered where they'd gone, tell Emmett he's dead when he gets home

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says:**

He just said bring it on. Oh teenagers! Right im sneaking out. I'll be with you soon my love.

**Mamma Vamp says:**

I can't wait Carlisle, I love you with all my un-beating heart

**Yes I answer to Doctor Fang says:**

Well, ill just have to fix that.

_***Carlisle signs out* **_

_***Edward signs in***_

**Mamma Vamp says:**

Edward go away

**Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:**

Have fun MOM!

**Mamma Vamp says: **

That's it your grounded when you get home

**Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:**

dammit, don't harm Volvy!

_***Edward signs out***_

_***Esme signs out***_


	2. Chapter 2

Cullens meet Msn, Msn meet the Cullens!

By A x Stupid X Lamb & BabyH(dot)Louisex

**Chapter 2**

_***Jasper signs in***_

_***Alice signs in***_

**I know what your feeling says:**

Ali......you know you love me?

**I Know What your doing in the future says:**

Jazz you know I do

What's wrong?

**I know what your feeling says:**

can i please not go shopping tomorrow? it's just well, Emmett wanted to set up a fight and i really want to be involved

**I Know what your doing in the future says: **

WHAT? JASPER CULLEN YOU'RE TRYING TO DITCH ME TO FIGHT WITH EMMETT THAT'S IT YOU AREN'T SLEEPING WITH ME ANYMORE!

**I know what your feeling says:**

WHAT? oh sweet baby Jesus I'm in for it!

AND COME ON!!!!

NO SEX?

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

Come shopping with me and I'll treat you, I'll buy some really nice underwear for you Jazz

I'm worth giving up a fight with Emmett for aren't I?

**I know what your feeling says:**

…

err sure

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

No Way, I'm not worth it I'm I that's it Jasper after all the years we've spent together I mean nothing to you, we're over, I'm going to Aro, he's better in bed than you anyway

**I know what your feeling says:**

ok ya'll need to calm down, do i need to come in there?

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

No, I don't want to see you what part of it's over don't you understand Jasper?*throws wedding ring across the floor and starts to sob*

**I know what your feeling says:**

NOT THE RINGS!

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

tell me I'm worth it

**I know what your feeling:**

your worth it... like L'Oreal

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

aww fanku and because I love you so much you can fight with Emmett tomorrow it's just a shame you'll miss out on some dressing room action I really wanted to get that mint green night gown the very revealing one

**I know what your feeling says:**

oh god ... emotional overload!

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

Told you I'm worth missing a fight for

**I know what your feeling says:**

dam ill make it up to you Ali don't worry

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

you could make it up to me tonight

**I know what your feeling says:**

ya'll just put off that dress till I can be there with you yes?

Can i really?

oh, is Edward gonna be there?

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

nope, Edwards with Bella & Nessie, i'm alone in Bella's house Charlie was here before but he left i'm lonley

**I know what your feeling says:**

why don't we ruffle Bella's new sheets?

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

that's a good idea tiger!

**I know what your feeling says:**

rrrr

how long will we have?

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

a few hours if you come now

**I know what your feeling says:**

I'll be right over, after i go to a certain shop and get some things...

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

make sure it's the dark green one, I DON'T WANT PINK!

**I know what your feeling says:**

gottcha Green no pink.

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

can't wait to see you Jazz, I miss you

**I know what your feeling says:**

missing you too. my little chicken.

**I know what your doing in the future says:**

aww Jazz love you more tiger

_***Jasper signs out***_

_***Bella signs in* **_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

Stay out of my room!!!

_***Alice signs out***_

_***Bella signs out***_


	3. Chapter 3

Cullens meet Msn, Msn meet the Cullens!

By A x Stupid X Lamb & BabyH(dot)Louisex

_**Chapter 3**_

_***Edward signs in***_

_***Bella signs in***_

**Stupid shiney Volvo owner and loving it! says:**

_Edward is currently unavailable at the moment so this is his imaginary friend siomen._

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

EDWARD CULLEN, I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU IT'S URGERT

**Stupid shiney Volvo Owner & loving it says:**

_oh capitals, that bad?_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

YES

**Stupid Shiney Volvo Owner & loving it says:**

ok, what is bothering you?

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

I THINK I'M PREGNANT AGAIN

**Stupid Shiney Volvo Owner & loving it says:**

d6iyfiyd

sorry what?

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

I think I'm pregnant Eddy

**Stupid shiney Volvo Owner & Loving it says:**

_how is that even possible?_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

well I also don't think its yours i'm sorry Eddy but I think it's Jacob I need a strong man not an ugly fish man

**Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner & Loving it says:**

_UGLY FISH MAN???_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

yes Eddy an ugly fish man I love Jacob

**Stupid shiney Volvo owner & loving it says:**

_well i did say i would let you choose Jacob and i would leave you alone..._

_but I want you!!!!!!!_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

oh Eddy I know, I still want us to be together, it was a false alarm can you forgive me eddy, I really love you

**Stupid shiney Volvo owner & loving it says:**

_*sighs* oh thank god! I thought I was going to have to lock you up for a minute there._

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

Aww babe i love you, come round I'll make it up too you

**Stupid shiney Volvo owner & loving it says:**

_oh Bella, you dirty girl! Are you on your own?_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

yep I've kicked Alice & Rose out

**Stupid shiney Volvo owner & loving it says:**

_I bet Alice has seen something. She'll tell Jazz and he'll want to give me...tips again *shudders*_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

um it's only becuase Jasper great in bed

**Stupid Shiney Volvo owner & loving it says:**

_and how do you know that??_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

i don't Alice tells me all the time all about it, it sounds better than our sex

**Stupid shiney Volvo owner & loving it says:**

_And how do you know that??_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

i don't Alice tells me all the time all about it, it sounds better than our sex

**Stupid Shiney Volvo Owner & loving it says:**

_oh __really well I'll show her! I'm coming over right now. After cornering Alice and forcing her to tell me why its sooooo much better. _

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

umm can't wait babe and she won't tell you

she'll just show you

**Stupid Shiney Volvo Owner & loving it says:**

_oh crikey! she needs to get a hobby._

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

Sex with Jasper is her hobby

**Stupid Shiney Volvo Owner & loving it says:**

oh sweet baby Jesus that's disgusting!

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

It's called love Eddie

**Stupid Shiney Volvo Owner & loving it! says:**

_No that's acting like Emmett & Rose_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

You're right their

So are you coming?

**Stupid shiney Volvo owner & loving it! says:**

_Yes wait a minute, just changing my clothes and telling Carlisle I'm off to yours._

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

I'll be waiting

_***Edward signs out***_

_***Bella sings out***_


	4. Chapter 4

Cullens meet Msn, Msn meet the Cullens!

By A x Stupid X Lamb &

_***Rosalie signs in***_

_***Emmett signs in***_

_Because I say so says:_

_Hehe Rosie rhymes with Posie_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

Emmett I told you stop being a idiot or I will hurt you

_Because I say so says:_

_What did I do?_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

your being your usually Stupid Emmett self and its doing my head in

_Because I say so says:_

_Someone has PMS _

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

WHAT?

_Because I say so says:_

_PMS!!!!_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS EMMETT HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME?

_Because I say so says:_

_because your all PMSy_

_seriously take a chill pill dude im sure the C man can give you one_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

don't push me Emmett Cullen

_Because I say so says:_

_hehe *gets evil plan*_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

because our love life is hanging my a thread

and you don't want it to snap

_Because I say so says:_

_*gasps* you wouldn't dare!_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

Try me Emmy Try Me

_Because I say so says:_

_waaa you don't love me_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

Emmy you know I love you I just wish you weren't so stupid!

_Because I say so says:_

_wold you like it if i dressed up as a naughty school boy? then you can give me a lesson..._

_*winks*_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

ummmm that's sound like a good plan

Emmett Cullen your the naugiest boy in the world!

_Because I say so says:_

_welllllllll i do try!_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

you try & you do it well that's a first

_Because I say so says:_

_so rose.... can i get another puppy? Carlisle took Rose 2 back to the pet shop!!_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

you named your dog after me? *gives evil look*

_Because I say so says:_

_*oh crap* errrr...yeah...because it was a very sweet and loving dog_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

that dog was ugly are you saying I'M UGLY! THINK CAREFULLY BEFORE ANSWERING!

_Because I say so says:_

_nooooo your not ugly Rosie. *panics* _

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

good answer maybe your not as stupid as I thought you were

_Because I say so says:_

_see them 50 years of a private tutor did have a difference_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

Haha Emmett you only went to one lesson

the tutor quit afterward he said he couldn't teach a muppet

_Because I say so says:_

_oh yeah... i killed him when i found him again_

_not the brightest plan of mine_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

what? No He was so cute & great in bed I hate you Emmett

_Because I say so says:_

_*puppy dogs eyes* i'm sorry rose but how did you know he was good in bed?_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

That's for me to know and for you to never ever find out

_Because I say so says:_

_ohhhh right thats fine with me then_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

i wish you were as good as him oh I'll never ever find a man that was that good

_Because I say so says:_

_hehe errr yeah *confused as hell*_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

god Emmett you are dumb I had sex with your tutor more than once before you killed him and he was great bet then you in fact everyone is better than you

_Because I say so says:_

_and what did i do to deserve that Rosalie Lilian Hale?_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

excuse me I think the Question is here is What did I do to deserve you Emmett Cullen I'm only with you because Edward didn't want to know and because their was no-one else and because I felt sorry for you

i should have let their bear kill you

_Because I say so says:_

_what we have been living a lie all this time???_

_hey why dont you go marry the bear!_

_it keeps coming back biting me in the ass stupid Bear!!!_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

Emmy you've provided my point about you being stupid Emmett I'm joking you know I love you & no-one does sex like you

_Because I say so says:_

_oh....._

_this_

_is_

_awkward_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

it's okay Emmy I'll make it up to you tonight but I have to go Alice wants to go shopping

_Because I say so says:_

_ohhh bring me something good _

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

i will how about that Pink Dress you said you'd love me to wear in the bedroom?

_Because I say so says:_

_ohhhh yes yes and more yes!_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

i'll get it see you later Emmy Bear love youx

_Because I say so says:_

_See you Rosie! Be back soon_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

and make sure you ready to be taught a lesson naughty boy!

_Because I say so says:_

_ohh i might want detention ......_

Assassin of the century & because the bear needs a pet says:

you've got it love you

_***Rosalie signs out***_

_***Emmett signs out***_


	5. Chapter 5

Cullens meet Msn, Msn meet the Cullens!

By A x Stupid X Lamb & BabyH(dot)Louisex

_**Chapter 5**_

_***Jacob signs in***_

_***Renesmee signs in***_

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**Nessie!! why did Edward the no life bloodsucker ban me from your house for a week!**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

Ummm no comment

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**Ok now i know you've done something... tell me**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

I'm innocent till proven guilty Jacob Black

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**Fine i can find out you know you was with Seth weren't you. all i have to do is phase and force him to tell me!**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

Jake I promise it never happened Seth had nothing to do with it it's complicated

it was all Aunty Rosie she did it she made me frame you

i wanted pop tarts she said she wouldn't give me any unless I framed you sorry Jake but it was either you or the pop tarts and the pop tarts win every time

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_***sighs* well what am i going to do? I can't step near the Cullen driveway without Emmett tackling me to the floor!**_

_**and frame me for what?**_

_**YOU CHOOSE POP TARTS OVER ME!**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

yes and don't tell me you won't do the same thing don't worry Mum will get Dad to lift the ban

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**hmmm yeah im not so sure your dad is going to be so kind Ness. **_

_**he's like that**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

Mum has ways don't worry you'll be allowed in our house in about five minutes she's talking to him now, well not exactly talking

the things you hear in the house are scary

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**ohhh yikes i dont wanna know Ness seriously. i remember we were in your room and we could hear Emmett and Rose I mean there in a different house!**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

hehe I remember I also remember you saying that they were just arguing what aren't you telling me Jake?

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**oh darn er nothing Ness they were...**_

_**discussing the national debt**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

I love National Debt we have to discuss it like Rose & Emmy some time

yay Mummy's got Daddy to lift the ban yay!

come round Jake we can discuss the debt now

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**err not they way they do it sweety. i would permanently be banned from your house and short of legs and arms.**_

_**noooo you cant make me!**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

I don't understand Jake they were only talking weren't they I'm confused and I think your lying to me Jake tell me the truth

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**err ...birds....bees....damn**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

Should I ask Mummy?

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**ask .... grampa Carlisle **_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

be right back going to ask Mummy and Granddad

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**phew**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

back I asked Mummy and she went more white than normal and Dad shouted "Jacob Black your dead."

i'm not sure why

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_***stops breathing***_

_**ooh err Nessie tell dad i would tell you nothing!**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

I would but he's disappeared along with grampa Carlisle Uncle Emmett & Jasper and Aunty Alice & Rosalie I wonder why they've gone?

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**Did they leave with a shovel?**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

yeah Emmett looked crazy

umm what are they going do with the shovel Jake?

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**Bury my cold lifeless body**_

_**i mean make a swimming pool**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

yay! we can go swimming! that should be fun I want to help! I'll get my coat don't start without me!

or I'll do my angry face

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**oh you'll be doing your angry face to your dad soon enough**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

why? what's going on? JAKE STOP LYING TO ME, YOU KNOW WHAT I GET LIKE WHEN I GET ANGRY *FACE GOES RED STEAMING BLOWING FROM EARS*

answer the question Jake or I'll set Emmett on you

And so the werewolf fell for the lockness monster says:

_**ohh err youve already done that job love.**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

*cries*

_***Jacob gets disconnected* **_

_***Edward signs in* **_

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**RENESSMEE CARLIE CULLEN DID I NOT SAY TO STOP YOUR CONVOSATION WITH THE MUTT!!**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

daddy what have you done to my Jakey if you've hurt him I will kick your arse with Mummy's help of course

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**OH dont worry about the flea bag, hes ... very comfy. I'll give you s hint where he is ...**_

_**It's box shaped, it has a lid and you find it at a church**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

*cries even more* I HATE YOU DADDY HOW COULD YOU KILL JAKEY. I'M TELLING MUMMY AND I'M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN *RUNS TO BELLA*

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**Mummy wouldn't dare!**_

_**Oh thats it cry to mumu. **_

_**Emmett and Jasper had fun as well by the way**_

_***is taken back by the happy memories***_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

OH MUMMY WOULD DARE EDWARD!

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**HEY that is Dad (or any other alternative) to you miss!**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

OH EDWARD YOU STUPID DEAD MUPPET ITS YOUR WIFE BELLA YOU KNOW THE ONE WHO WOULDN'T DARE

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**oh great**_

_**err hey love**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO JACOB AND WHY ARE YOU UPSETTING & BEING MEAN TO OUR LITTLE GIRL?

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**the mutt was teaching Nessie SEX! something had to be done!**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

Eddie she asked him about it and Jacob being smart told her to ask me & Carlisle have all the facts before you act Edward Cullen!

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**ohh dam i just heared Nessie tell you "Jacob said birds and the bees!"**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

that's right now go & dig Jacob up or I'll put you in his place for good!

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**how can i dig him up?**_

_**hes dead**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

oh Eddie what have you done?

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**unless.... we didnt kill him properly *sighs* wait a minute defiling a grave here**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

if he's dead Eddie I'm leaving you & taking Nessie with me

you won't see us for dust

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**err yeah he was alive and well now he's run for it**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

oh good he's here now

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**err I love you?**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

you'll have to make up to me tonight and make it to Nessie as well she's still crying this has been an eventfull day what else could go wrong?

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**Rosalie running around in her underwear after Emmett screaming give me back my clothes you stupid Vampire?**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

I spoke to soon eww but no

it's worse than that

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**shall i tackle him and give her clothes back?**_

_**what has happened your end? cause im getting too freaked out by rose here**_

human + vampire =one problem child says:

umm well Nessie was upset and she walked into Alice & Jasper's room because she thought their we're discussing the national debt oh god its too wrong for words

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**oh dude what has Jacob been saying to that girl?**_

_**JASPER CALM !!!!! SERIOULSY I CAN SENCE THAT ALL THE WAY FROM HERE!**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

he says he was thinking on his feet and now Nessie will always have Alice & Jasper having sex imprinted on her mind

my poor little girl

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**well we don't have to say your not allowed to have sex just say your not allowed to discuss the national debt**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

THAT'S THE LEAST OF OUR PROBLEMS I'VE JUST HAD TO RUN OUT OF THE HOUSE WITH ESME, CARLISLE, RENESMEE, JACOB AND THE LAPTOP THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE

but i saved the laptop that's the main thing

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**oh crap NOOOOO PATSY THE PIANO!!!!!!!! **_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

sorry but the laptop & our daughter were the only things worth saving aww a nice fire's glow so romantic

get back Eddie so we can enjoy it

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**RIP PATSY thou shall remember you always**_

_***sighs* ok we are on our way back**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

aww I'll miss you too Patsy so many great memories

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**the next one i get has its own room!**_

_**right see you soon my love**_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

perfect we can have our national debt on it

Stupid shiny Volvo owner and loving it! Says:

_**not on the piano! **_

_***Edward signs out***_

Human + vampire =one problem child says:

And thats the way you get a guy to come home

_***Bella signs out***_

********

Author Comment!

Right Guys who do you want us to write about next? let us know,it can anyone, any gender and as many people as you want and please please review!

Thanks

K & H


	6. Chapter 6

Cullens meet Msn, Msn meet the Cullens

By AxStupidxLamb and Babyh(dot)Louisex

_**Chapter 6**_

_***Emmett signs in***_

_***Bella signs in***_

**Because I say so says:**

BELLA!, you, me, truth or dare, now!

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

Umm, Emmy how do we play over the Internet? And yeah sure I'm bored Eddie's hunting with the others

**Because I say so says:**

Er Webcam?

HAHA EDDIE, ill use that

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

ummm webcam? No! Not after what happened last time

**Because I say so says:**

Errr, oh Bella what happened? I have mysteriously forgot

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

omg Emmy how can you forgot? Rose and Eddie were mad at us both for a week all though you're a great kisser I should have picked you not Eddie DON'T TELL HIM THAT

So are we playing truth or dare or not?

**Because I say so says:**

HAHA, good times, good times. Hell yeah!

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

hehe I remember it well who's starting?

You go first!

Because I say so says:

OK Bella, truth or dare?

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

ummmmmmmmmmmm truth

**Because I say so says:**

Do you get it off with Eddie? If so where is the most public place you have done it?

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

ummmmm Mall Changing Room Alice took me shopping Eddie showed up and the rest is history

**Because I say so says:**

Ohhhhh Nice! *makes a note of that*

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

Right Emmy Truth or Dare?

**Because I say so says:**

hmm i guess dare because i am a man

**Because the lambs says the lion needed me says:**

hehe  
ummmm Emmett I dare you too..... Stick Posters of Rosalie up around Forks saying in bright pink letter "Lost Dog goes by the name of Rosalie." With Rosalie knickers stabled to them hehe

**Because I say so says:**

WHAT! ROSE WILL KILL ME!

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

Emmy be man take the plunge

**Because I say so says:**

Err Rose is in her room, how am I meant to get her underwear?

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

Emmett Cullen you have ways I'm sure you'll have Rose's underwear in your hands in seconds like always

I've seen the way you get her to drop her knickers

**Because I say so says:**

*Sighs* be right back

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

yay! Bella always wins *does Alice Happy Dance*

**Because I say so says:**

*Seduces Rose into giving him her knickers*

You'll pay for this

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

Bite me Emmy Kins

**Because I say so says:**

right got them you annoying little runt

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

hehe now off you go you've got posters to put up

**Because I say so says:**

Bella must die

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

Try it Eddie will kill you

Just like James

**Because I say so says:**

*Emmetts status is currently set to mortal peril so he may not reply*

Im scared... I had to hide in the basement in case she finds out thanks to you!

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

haha I love the posters Emmett the're amazing and I love you too

Right we still playing?

**Because I say so says:**

While im still alive yes

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

k

**Because I say so says:**

So midget, truth or dare?

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

Umm dare since you did one

**Because I say so says**:

Right I dare you to... striptease for Eddie on his piano.

**Because the lambs aways the lion needed me says:**

I do that everyday Emmy you watch most of the time  
or maybe that's Jasper that watches?

ummmm curious  
but I can't do that dare two reasons 1) I do it most of the time and 2) Edward's not here hehe

New Dare Emmy Kins!

**Because I say so says:**

fine Jasper then!

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

ummmm I thought you'd never ask I'll be right back I just have to borrow Rose's short black dress

**Because I say so says:**

Haven't we pissed Rose off enough?

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

yeah but I'm going to ask her for the dress and ask why you think she's a dog all at the same time (**giggles evilly)**

***Bella's status is currently set to telling Rosalie about Emmett and teasing Jasper so she may not reply***

**Because I say so says:**

DAMN YOU TO HELL

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

back damn that was fun

umm Emmett I suggested you start running Rosalie didn't look happy

R.I.P Emmy Kins We'll miss you

**Because I say so says:**

*Emmett's status is currently set on dead, he will defiantly not reply*

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

aww no more fun with Emmett well this has been another eventful day being a Cullen is never boring


	7. Chapter 7

Cullens meet Msn, Msn meet the Cullens!

By AxStupidxLamb and Blond Velma

_**Chapter 7**_

_***Jasper signs in***_

_***Bella signs in***_

**I know what your feeling says:**

_**Bella, what a completely coincidence that we are on Msn at the same time!**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

Hey Jazz I was thinking the same thing how are you?

**I know what your feeling says:**

_**Err im fine Bella, so i noticed what you were feeling earlier**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

you did? *blushes a deep red*

**I know what your feeling says:**

_**hey dont worry about it, i wont tell Eddie or Alice.**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

good oh Jazz this is a mess

**I know what your feeling says: **

_**tell me about it!**_

_**soo what are w e going to do about this?**_

_**because i have a confession**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

i have no idea I think its the same as mine!

**I know what your feeling says:**

_**maybe. *sighs* ok Bella **_

_**I**_

_**LOVE**_

_**YOU!**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

oh Jazz I love you too always have! I should have picked you not Eddie what are we going to do

**I know what your feeling says: **

_**Sing the barney song? i love you, you love me**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

that doesn't help Jazz

**I know what your feeling says:**

_**guess not **_

_**hmm well shall we tell Edward and Alice about this for a start**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

no not yet we can't tell them

**I know what your feeling says:**

_**Edward will find out eventually **_

_**Stupid mind reader**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

block your thoughts from him, NO-ONE MUST KNOW ABOUT US!

**I know what your feeling says:**

_**Wanna go for a romantic hunt? if thats possible**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

yeah I'd like that

Jazz I love you so much

**I know what your feeling says:**

_**me to love, me to. **_

**Because I say so says:**

_**I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO TELLING EDDIEKINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

_**JASPER AND BELLA SITTING IN A TREE**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

EMMETT YOU SAY ANYTHING I WILL TELL ROSALIE ABOUT LAST NIGHT!

**Because I say so says:**

_**Thats was uncalled for**_

**I know what your feeling says:**

_**What the hell is going on. EMMETT I AM GOING TO TEAR YOU TO SHREDS**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says: **

stop both of you please Emmy don't say anything to the others!

**Because I say so says:**

_**It will cost you**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

we'll do anything!

**I know what your feeling says:**

_**Oh f ing tremendous**_

**Because I say so says:**

_**So what i want is this**_

_**dibs on Jazz's room. A shopping spree with Bella and a years supply of bubble soap!**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

fine!

**Because I say so says:**

_**you can do sooo much with that bottle of joy!**_

**I know what your feeling says:**

_**What my room? Thats gay even for you Emmett.**_

_**What am i going to tell Alice?**_

**Because I say so says: **

_**not my problem Jazzy**_

**I know what your feeling says: **

**o**_**h fine whatever you mean mean vamp**_

**Because I say so says:**

_**Emmy wins again! So long people**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

fuck off Emmett and leave us alone!

i hate you Emmett!

_***Emmett signs out***_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

finally he's gone!

**I know what your feeling says:**

_***pouts* i miss my room**_

**Because the lambs away the lion needed me says:**

you can share mine with me *licks lips*

**I know what your feeling says:**

**I'm there.**

_***Jasper signs out***_

_***Bella signs out***_


End file.
